Life’s a struggle & this struggle is a constant! Everything else is ever changing! They say change is the only constant! No my friend, change is not the only constant.
You know what else is a constant? The fact that life sucks, more than half of it at least!
I know I’m portraying a pessimistic state of mind. This bothers me because I’ve a very positive temperament by nature. The truth is I’m the only one to blame for all my pessimism & this contrast in my otherwise natural temperament!
I’ve been spending a lot of time reading & watching content on self development. In pursuing this interest, I’ve come across a few deep topics which has triggered my mind, in a good way.
I’ve been going through a lot of internal struggle for the past few weeks. It’s hard coming to terms with & then going against your old beliefs, breaking previously set values & accepting your own mistakes.
Another aspect of this internal struggle is a particular thought which has been bugging me to no end. The thought that I might have made one big mistake in my life. Once something is done, it can’t be undone. Call it fear, regret or some kind of guilt, but this thing has literally shaken me from the inside.
I can not not wonder why we do the things we do, especially why do we do the things we know we’ll regret doing later. It’s probably because most of the time this realization & the sense of regret remains subconscious & appears only after we’ve done what we shouldn’t have done.
We don’t just make a mistake in life suddenly out of nowhere. It takes a period of time & a series of thoughts that slowly translates into that one mistake. We have to take responsibility for the mistakes we’ve done & the pain we’ve caused to ourselves & others.
Something Jim Carrey said in one of his remarkable motivational speech has made a deep mark on me & his words keep echoing in my mind. Let me paraphrase it for you-
Man would see mermaid’s head but not dragon’s tail. A lot of times you don’t want to believe in the bad but the bad is there, negativity or obvious drawback of the situation is there. But you just go I WANT! It all comes down to fears & desire. My desire is my only drawback.
There’s nothing stronger or more powerful than our own desires. It can motivate us to achieve great things, but sometimes it can also become the reason for our mistakes. Our desire is that magical ingredient underneath our thoughts that drives our actions. Now I can not not wonder why we want the things we want!
Can we do something about our desires and our mistakes? Probably, probably not! But for now I think if struggle is what it takes to realize our mistakes, then the struggle is worth all the pain! True realizations will shape your mind & your character, you’ll never forget what you’ve learned & you’ll never be the same again in life.
The constant struggle of being, of living, of accepting our mistakes will end at some point, only to begin again with another new struggle of being, of living, of accepting a few more mistakes!
The struggle is real & it is very much a constant. But as long as it steers your soul & makes you reflect on your life, it’s all worth it!
What’s causing you ‘your constant struggle of being’? Please do share your thoughts…
Educated Unemployed Indian 
I can understand what is going through your mind. But if you have chosen to write this post it means that you entirely understands the life and this understanding is worth the struggle. Anyways, you are a winner because every struggler is a winner only because he/she chose to struggle instead of staying back.
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Thank you so much Neeraj for sharing your wonderful thought. What you’ve said makes perfect sense & I’ve been trying to program my mind on the same lines. I can’t say I’ve got everything sorted but like you said, it’s definitely a way forward.
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Your post was felt deep in my soul…thank you.
The constant slight (and sometimes deep) dissapointment in myself – but time has learned me, there is a bigger picture, and somehow we all go through it – just keep going. Jaded with a brokenness even. But oooh how sweet is the moments when you find a blissful moments, hopeful moments, beautiful emotions – THAT makes it all worth it. Someone said: You can’t appreciate the highs if you don’t know how the lows feels like.
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Dear Zelda, Thank you so much for sharing the beautiful thought. The last sentence you said, there is so much meaning & depth in that simple sentence. When you’re in those dark moments, you literally feel like there is & can’t ever be any joy to be found in life. But in time you’ll realize any bright moment you may have in life actually resulted from those dark ones. That is If you think about it.
Love & best wishes ❤︎
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There’s always a balance of forces in decisions (otherwise, we wouldn’t consider them “decisions”). Usually, it’s between whatever drives us instinctively versus our perceptions of some as yet unrealized future. Giving more force to that latter takes time and experience. Self-discipline has to be a habit; otherwise, it becomes the focus when it’s really the task that’s important.
I don’t know what your “mistake” was, but I notice that you’re still alive and that the police haven’t taken you away… both good signs. Regardless, we humans have the ability to look back and re-live some alternate reality in our minds. But that’s not the reality in which we exist. So eventually we move on to the next decision and do the best we can again… ideally while keeping in mind what we do have and what we should be happy and thankful about. So don’t be too hard on yourself, take stock of the good, and recognize that you are not now the same person. Then, move on with increased confidence to whatever comes next.
ᕙ(°‿°)ᕗ
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I read your comment thrice, not because I didn’t understand it the first time. But because it’s a deep thought packed with meaning, glad I’m reading this in the morning. It makes a huge difference when you start your day with positivity. Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your kind gesture. & yes indeed the police haven’t taken me away, they’re not at all after me for that mistake I did. I guess I was giving me a hard time treating myself needlessly like a criminal, I’m not 🙂👍
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yes,some may feel life is a struggle.
in Buddhism, desires bring suffering. lessening the desires, lessens the suffering.
mistakes? if we didnt make mistakes, we are not trying to do anything or learning.
i feel instead of saying mistakes in life, i prefer to say, choices. we make choices. some are good and some are not. we need to embrace the bad choices as much as the good for they are apart of us. we can not undo the choices in the past. we can only hope to not make them again.
im sorry to know you are struggling and im sending you positive vibes.
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Thank you so much for sharing your wonderful thought & for sending some much needed good vibes. I really like your perspective on mistakes of life. Indeed we should think of them as choices & if we feel some of those choices are bad, then try best to not repeat them. I’m just paraphrasing your thought & in a way reminding myself. Thanks again for sharing.
Best wishes,
Binita
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🙂🙂❤️
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As Bhagwat Gita says, “Choosing right over pleasant, is sign of strength “.
But sometime due to lack of some knowledge, we consider Pleasant thing as right. Both things may be the same sometimes but sometimes not. And when Right & pleasant both things are different but we choose pleasant thing over right, it causes guilt and regret.
But life always gives us second chance, we must wait for it and catch it as it comes.
This is what life is – failing-learning-and again failing and again learning.
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The choices I regret come in a daily form, as I return from a job I know will exasperate me as the months pass and after a physically tiring workout, a shower and a meal, I choose to sit in comfort and relax. Though it’s hard to find harm in doing so, my mind knows I ought to push through and further work on and develop ideas to become self-sustainable through a business – rather than depending on a job where I work for a boss – to find true happiness. But it gets tiring to do.
I really enjoyed this post because it makes me think. Even if interpreted in a different way you might have meant, it’s a meaningful ponder.
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Desire can be a fault and a feat. One without desire becomes stagnant. I struggle with desire unlike most, I’m scared of change, I want things but I’m not comfortable when the status quo changes. It holds me back a lot. I admire those people who grab life by the horns and can get what they want. Im one that falls behind. I do just enough to get by and try not to rock the boat so I don’t fall out. So I can see desire as good and bad. Too much is definitely a bad thing, too much of anything is a bad thing.
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